Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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