the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
