Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
