i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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