I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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