so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
