All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
