Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
