the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
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i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
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I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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