YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
