It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
