Texts From Last Night

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  (206): View more from Washington

  Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad

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  (206): Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad http://tfl.nu/uv9f
  Replies (21) Good night (1615) Bad night (900)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  enjoy the hospital

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  (574): New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy (860): enjoy the hospital http://tfl.nu/9tp2
  Replies (7) Good night (2380) Bad night (815)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.

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  (920): Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet. http://tfl.nu/uu2t
  Replies (6) Good night (1686) Bad night (5572)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".

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  (870): I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible". http://tfl.nu/e3k3
  Replies (43) Good night (7834) Bad night (1699)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.

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  (914): Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back. http://tfl.nu/842d
  Replies (21) Good night (1049) Bad night (4060)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster

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  (206): it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster http://tfl.nu/ujaf
  Replies (15) Good night (3517) Bad night (1242)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.

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  (504): That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop. http://tfl.nu/jrhx
  Replies (2) Good night (1530) Bad night (752)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl

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  (314): The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl http://tfl.nu/c78c
  Replies (6) Good night (1042) Bad night (1600)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !

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  (631): They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real ! http://tfl.nu/8frh
  Replies (5) Good night (1016) Bad night (542)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  I can't remember dinner

  (1-850): View more from Florida

  Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"

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  (850): I can't remember dinner (1-850): Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!" http://tfl.nu/mx63
  Replies (1) Good night (747) Bad night (355)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029

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  (402): I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029 http://tfl.nu/erxw
  Replies (7) Good night (429) Bad night (996)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Sex is always the answer.

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?

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  (630): Sex is always the answer. (630): Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year? http://tfl.nu/kqhl
  Replies (1) Good night (675) Bad night (433)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?

  (1-479): View more from Arkansas

  You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.

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  (479): Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him? (1-479): You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring. http://tfl.nu/rmw0
  Replies (1) Good night (818) Bad night (280)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter

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  (519): this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter http://tfl.nu/w0m6
  Replies (2) Good night (276) Bad night (196)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!

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  (417): I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral! http://tfl.nu/xq5a
  Replies (6) Good night (224) Bad night (313)

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