Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65

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  (248): Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room (248): Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65 http://tfl.nu/zat2
  Replies (2) Good night (1184) Bad night (823)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin

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  (802): i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin http://tfl.nu/0a0z
  Replies (14) Good night (998) Bad night (2191)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".

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  (305): I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang". http://tfl.nu/9dw0
  Replies (68) Good night (25976) Bad night (1465)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.

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  (908): btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life. http://tfl.nu/rg12
  Replies (10) Good night (5290) Bad night (839)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face

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  (856): my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face http://tfl.nu/f36p
  Replies (3) Good night (1189) Bad night (3471)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.

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  (704): I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it. http://tfl.nu/goy6
  Replies (13) Good night (4302) Bad night (1396)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs

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  (860): You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs http://tfl.nu/mobo
  Replies (6) Good night (806) Bad night (1993)
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?

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  (228): I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL? http://tfl.nu/0gju
  Replies (9) Good night (1316) Bad night (558)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.

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  (513): Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude. http://tfl.nu/aac3
  Replies (6) Good night (2540) Bad night (660)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.

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  (425): I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone. http://tfl.nu/vl0d
  Replies (7) Good night (1717) Bad night (608)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS

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  (334): OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS http://tfl.nu/wcsc
  Replies (4) Good night (865) Bad night (305)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.

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  (613): He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs. http://tfl.nu/4yrh
  Replies (2) Good night (1341) Bad night (432)
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  (805): View more from California

  Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come

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  (805): Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come http://tfl.nu/u9o4
  Replies (1) Good night (314) Bad night (579)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?

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  (508): How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster? http://tfl.nu/rbos
  Replies (1) Good night (312) Bad night (747)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.

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  (785): The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover. http://tfl.nu/dvfq
  Replies (1) Good night (713) Bad night (173)

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