Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth. http://tfl.nu/egoc
  Replies (28) Good night (4147) Bad night (1807)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best. http://tfl.nu/ew7r
  Replies (17) Good night (4182) Bad night (793)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (320): so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville.. http://tfl.nu/vgyl
  Replies (38) Good night (1868) Bad night (5360)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer. http://tfl.nu/7obs
  Replies (13) Good night (4138) Bad night (983)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): Too many people are naked here for this to be normal. http://tfl.nu/s42o
  Replies (20) Good night (6056) Bad night (1142)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY. http://tfl.nu/zzc9
  Replies (6) Good night (3129) Bad night (980)
• Favorite

  (559): View more from California

  Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (559): Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston http://tfl.nu/g2h3
  Replies (3) Good night (2117) Bad night (640)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there..... http://tfl.nu/ckkf
  Replies (18) Good night (869) Bad night (2661)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light. http://tfl.nu/7bfn
  Replies (7) Good night (589) Bad night (1140)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (765): My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic http://tfl.nu/h32f
  Replies (0) Good night (643) Bad night (351)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes. http://tfl.nu/j23w
  Replies (0) Good night (379) Bad night (627)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep http://tfl.nu/mi4b
  Replies (4) Good night (735) Bad night (513)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Can't find our DD

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): Can't find our DD (1-919): He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door. http://tfl.nu/0qwm
  Replies (4) Good night (1120) Bad night (266)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch http://tfl.nu/x1qz
  Replies (1) Good night (595) Bad night (447)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic. http://tfl.nu/0utw
  Replies (0) Good night (515) Bad night (166)

Randomize