Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"