Texts From Last Night

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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.

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  (828): All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU. http://tfl.nu/f6ai
  Replies (33) Good night (3323) Bad night (1516)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.

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  (603): five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon. http://tfl.nu/sqt2
  Replies (44) Good night (1575) Bad night (3070)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again

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  (740): needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again http://tfl.nu/we2r
  Replies (38) Good night (778) Bad night (4488)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.

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  (757): He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish. http://tfl.nu/lwox
  Replies (42) Good night (20440) Bad night (1323)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things

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  (847): We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things http://tfl.nu/jwjz
  Replies (7) Good night (3399) Bad night (1082)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts

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  (403): i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts http://tfl.nu/x8b0
  Replies (10) Good night (4895) Bad night (854)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me

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  (201): They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me http://tfl.nu/zcpa
  Replies (6) Good night (4184) Bad night (1151)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"

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  (419): then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!" http://tfl.nu/taup
  Replies (10) Good night (4468) Bad night (957)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters

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  (918): please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters http://tfl.nu/gu1l
  Replies (8) Good night (1776) Bad night (772)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great

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  (719): Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great http://tfl.nu/tj20
  Replies (4) Good night (1449) Bad night (648)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween

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  (763): I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween http://tfl.nu/seas
  Replies (3) Good night (963) Bad night (439)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help

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  (219): Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help http://tfl.nu/bokj
  Replies (5) Good night (469) Bad night (788)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year

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  (217): It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year http://tfl.nu/d675
  Replies (4) Good night (773) Bad night (436)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.

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  (937): I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key. http://tfl.nu/73ox
  Replies (1) Good night (467) Bad night (199)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.

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  (904): Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment. http://tfl.nu/qht2
  Replies (0) Good night (346) Bad night (608)

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