I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
