Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
