You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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