Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
