can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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