if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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