Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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