I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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