How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Randomize