She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize
