Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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