Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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