i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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