Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
