They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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