You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I looked at my own cervix.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize