He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
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