so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
