do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
