your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
