i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
