I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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