how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
