There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
what day is it and did you see me today?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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