Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
