what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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