Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Is Oprah even human
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
