Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
