If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
only if we run a train.
done.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
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I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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