Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
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Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
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Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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