morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
