Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
