i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
