oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
What happened to fro yo and sex?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
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