if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
