Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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