He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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