wakey wakey hands off snakey
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
