Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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