i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
i drank out of a bidet.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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