two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
