i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize