TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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