i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Boobs speak an international language.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize