Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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