when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
