No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
