Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
