I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize