porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Randomize
