I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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