your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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