Your tits are I can't wait for
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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