ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
