Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
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I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
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I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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