bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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